Luckily I've got myself a new piece of technology to make it a little easier to type, yet it is still a phone, but now I don't have to continously frustrate myself with my touch screen nonsense. I'm of a relatively young age and still I don't understand the ways of today with the need of a constant upgrade with everything. Something made to create a simpler life is demanded by the people to be even simpler. Lazy fucks. You know what they say, "To each is own." Although I'm not sure who said it first or who made it go viral, it's a common saying throughout the beings of earth.
I started writing this with a complete opposite intention of what I'm currently writing but thats not much of a bother.
I still haven't gotten around to writing or even start writing my book. I wonder if I ever will to be completely honest. Even my poetry is quite dull and unoriginal. It seems that everything I write tends to take a toll into a depressing story about my life. I feel like those stupid teenagers you see in movies that you want to run up to and punch in the face for being so pathetic. I don't intentionally try to make my life seem so pale but when I put a pen to a piece of paper all that comes out is the sadness. Even on a pleasant day a pen becomes my worst enemy. In reality I have a wonderful life filled adventure and wonderful people who care for me. I guess the minute I get to writing it down, it becomes my venting time. For those who read my venting words will have to deal with the things that hurt inside of me. I'm not forcing anyone to read my work so it's their call if they want to read my bitching and moaning.
I guess I should change the subject or rather leave here with no intension on talking about something actually important.


It's only a thought.

I'm left here to ponder my thoughts to no other but myself. It's not always the most comforting position in the world and yet not only am I alone throughout this horrible maze of confrontation with myself but I'm typing all of this on a stupid android key-board. It's rather frustrating. Continously mispelling words because the letters are so small, forcing my thumbs to click on the backspace button as if I had a natural twitch in my hand. Sometimes I thrive not to be able to think. It's all just too much. Maybeh if I wrote on this more often, my mind would be less cluttered.
I want to write a book about my life but instead of making it obviously about me, change the charaters and add different scenes. I don't know.. It's only a thought.

Changing in order to live.

Everyday is more than a struggle, it's a war field. I fight in order to keep myself sane although I wonder if it's even working. I don't want you in my life but you're everywhere. In my mind, my heart, and in my arms. I yearn for your emptiness, to leave my presence and then contradictions haunt my path. Without you or someone in my life I am nowhere. I would adore to be alone but I fear it all the same. Now only seems of bitter  hate. Exactly how I'm going to die.

The Red Sea
The emotion of this ride just takes me and drowns me in a forever deep hole. I don't know what it is but whenever I come to this point in life I seem to just take the simple of things and make them as complicated as they can get which is a toll on my heart. Then the next thing you know I'm in the beetle position doing barrel rolls on the floor. Yeah, I guess that's pretty funny if you really think about it. But in all seriousness I am not sure how to handle those moments, but in the end I do it somehow. High five for trying?
I have all these ideas in my head but I can't seem to figure out how to write them down on paper. I could have the most perfect set of poetry in my hands. Become a famous writer and just stream my way down the river way. Almost as floating with the rest of the salmon who are striving for something important. Well it's probably important anyway. I just want to take my best friend and run away towards happiness but in every direction I go, all I find is darkness. I guess It's not my time to try the right path yet. I don't know. Maybe life isn't set like people think it is. It's not planned. Which would make it a little more difficult. I could die tomorrow... I could die right now. We could all die right now. Would that be part of the plan?
Where is your god now?

Writer's Block: Opposite Day
Who or what is your opposite?

There is a huge amount of people who would classify as my opposite but to sum everything up I guess my opposite would have to be someone who can't play in the dirt. Someone who does nothing but sit on their ass all day. Someone who looks at art and doesn't understand what the meaning is behind it. Someone who hates to read or even have an imagination. That would most definitely be someone who would be my opposite.

Tears of Penatration
Although everything looks a certain way, I tend to try to find it a different meaning with ever glance per item. A cat is no longer a cat, it's is a platypus that purrs. You know, I was never to fond of cats. I always hated how they smelt, how they lay, how they look at you and their pretty little eyes whisper to you, "Yeah, you're my bitch." and then, that urge to want to punch the damn thing in the face. Anyway, that was a little off topic. Honestly I am not quite sure what I was going to write. I guess I am writing what I wanted to write.
Colorado.. Why Colorado? I never understood my mother quite the way I had wanted too but who's to say that's a bad thing.
I don't really appreciate soda, it's quite bold and gross. It just has the saddest taste. Especially Mountain Dew.
Well I guess I should break part and spoil myself with the great benevolence of a cigarette.

Writer's Block: National Hugging Day
Who is the last person you hugged?

Does myself count ;)

Writer's Block: State of the Union
Who do you think would make a great U.S. president?

What's a good president anymore.
Honestly, no body on this damn for saken planet is good enough to be president but we have no choice to pick from someone and in the end most of America is going to hate them for insufficient reasoning.

When my heart beats a long time
For all this time I've spent trying to figure decisions out I have come to a final conclusion throughout it all. I don't know if any of this will make much sense but as the apple falls from the tree, I'll be there to catch it and make sure that apple has someone to take a fresh bite. Like a perfect melody of nature to the ones who need it the most and I know that no matter what I will always have that apple by my side to keep the heart in me beating. I may not have the lightest set of foot upon the ground but with every step it gets me through it. We are all just waiting patiently for that last bite. To savor in the taste and tenderness. Watching as the texture turns to yellow then to brown. Time only lets that happen. Time tells us when that apple is gone and there is no more any any of us.
It's a time that's a lot sooner than everyone thinks.

Today I'm going to go job hunting. Seems I'm going to have to do what I really didn't want to do though. I am going to have to work at a fast food restaurant. No where else is hiring, but oh well, a job is a job. As long as I get a pay check I'm good.
I need to go on a diet or something. I have like no energy today. That's not why I need to get in shape though, it's because I'm fat. Pointing out the obvious. aha. It doesn't help that I'm going to be working at the most unhealthy place in the world. I just wont eat there though.
Everything is getting just a step easier don't you think?
Well kinda, once I get cell phone, it'll be that much easier.
Luckily, I have patients.


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